


Michael

by Colamiilk



Series: Because I Love You [1]
Category: Soul Eater
Genre: "death", Big surprise, Bipolar Justin, Character Death is in quotation marks, Giriko murders a poor innocent boy for his boyfriend, Giriko really isn't acting like someone who should've been redeemed though, His boyfriend is not happy with him, Justin pov, M/M, Possession, Redemption AU, Unimportant OC POV, bad decisions happening here, he's fine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-07 18:14:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19474642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Colamiilk/pseuds/Colamiilk
Summary: Justin was dead. He had died. His soul was right there. He was going to pass on any moment now. In all honesty he should've already. He should already be well on his way to heaven or wherever the hell the dead went. He should be long gone, but Giriko wasn't loosening his vice-like grip on the soul. He wasn't ready to let things end.





	Michael

**Author's Note:**

> Wow I don't know why I did this! I don't write from an OC's point of view very often (I've done it once before) because I feel like its kind of weird but in this case its necessary so! Please put up with him! Also this will start out kind of slow and pointless but please be patient because once it gets going its much much more interesting!

Justin was  _ dead _ .

One of their best, most famous Death Scythes gone like that. It was only one misstep. Only a moment of hesitation. A second where he looked over his shoulder. A flash of fear. He was lured into looking away with a false warning. His death came from behind him. His death came while he was looking for a danger that didn’t exist. His death came from his desperation to keep his partner safe.

Michael was standing next to that partner. 

To say Giriko was heartbroken and forlorn that Justin was dead might of been right, but it was hard to tell. The only emotion coming off of the man right now was pure unadulterated rage. The atmosphere in the small elevator they were riding up in was heavy and stiff with the enchanter’s horrible bloodlust. It was choking and awful and Michael could feel himself sweating out his nerves in buckets. 

The uniform in his hands was ridiculously heavy. Both because it was so much thick fabric, but also with the knowledge that someone had died in it. It was still warm with Justin’s body heat. Still wet with his blood. Michael was only an attendant, he hadn’t expected any of this when Giriko came back. He hadn’t expected the man to come back to the branch at all actually. He had been waiting for Justin. He had been staying up- angry and impatient for the guillotine to come back with his report. He had been considering just going home and calling Justin tomorrow and yelling at him for taking so long. 

He had never even considered him losing. 

He hadn’t thought for a second Justin wasn’t coming back. Never in his life had he expected to see an angry Giriko stalk over to him and shove a bloodied uniform into his hands. He had never expected to find his glasses smeared with the blood of someone he held in such high esteem. But here he was. His shirt and face had been completely ruined with the ugly dark maroon of Justin’s remains. He had accidentally left a disgusting smeared trail of Justin’s blood in the hallways because it wouldn’t stop dripping everywhere. 

It was all so shocking that Michael wondered if the flickering lights of the elevator would just snuff out and he’d wake up back home sweaty and disoriented. This felt far more like a nightmare than reality. He kept expecting something to tell him this was fake. Something to tell him this hadn’t actually happened. Because there was no way this had actually happened. Justin couldn’t be dead. He couldn’t. That mission couldn’t of killed him. It couldn’t. He couldn’t die. What would they do without him? What would they do now? What would happen? Michael couldn’t remember what it was like before they had Justin as their stationed Scythe. He couldn’t imagine going back to whatever that was like.

The doors rumbled open and Giriko stalked out with Michael following distractedly. His mind was running a mile a minute. What was he going to tell everyone? Was the mission even finished? Who were they going to send if Justin couldn’t do it? Was he going to have to call Lord Death? God. How was he going to break this to Lord Death? What about the other Death Scythes? Would they blame him? He wasn’t sure why they would but just the idea was making his head swirl. He was so dead. How had he let this happen? He had sent their Scythe on the mission that killed him! He hadn’t known! It was labeled an S mission but it was  _ Justin _ . S missions were the only ones that were worth his time at all! 

He was getting a horrible migraine. He needed to lay down and consider everything and just calm down for a second. He was spiralling out of control This… this was making him crazy he was having a hard time thinking straight and and- all the wind was knocked out of him as he walked straight into Giriko’s arm. 

The weird choking noise he made was immediately followed with horrid coughing as his lungs struggled to fill with oxygen again. Tears were burning his eyes and his windpipe felt hot and dry as he sucked in all the air he could. This was all too much all at once. He was starting to feel dizzy. Looking over to Giriko with confused eyes he flinched when the man glared at him with a furious coldness that chilled him to the bone. 

“We’re here.” Michael blinked at the gruff tone and looked up to the old infirmary sign. He… hadn’t even known that this is where they were going. He hadn’t bothered to ask Giriko where they were going at all. Everything had been so sudden and shocking he had just followed the enchanter without even asking what they were trying to do. 

Glancing down at the bloodied uniform his confusion grew. Justin was obviously long dead. If Giriko didn’t bring the body back there probably hadn’t even been a body to bring back. The Scythe was probably nothing more than a soul now. If even that. Michael’s throat felt sticky as he imagined someone eating Justin’s soul. That… just sounded impossible. Like something that could’ve never happened. 

“Why are we here?” His voice sounded so hoarse and dry. He was still clearly recovering from the hit to his sternum. He wasn’t a fighter, he didn’t go out on the fields at all. He could barely transform into his weapon form. Hell, he didn’t know the last time he had tried. Still even with all of that into account he was embarrassed by how winded he was from a simple hit. If it could even really be called that. His face turned slightly red and he sighed. He wondered absently if he’d be paid overtime for all of this. Probably not.

Pushing up his glasses with his shoulder he turned to face the man to his side. Looking for his answer. He still really didn’t understand what they were doing here. They didn’t have anyone to treat. Well. Unless Giriko himself was wounded. But he really didn’t seem to be. Still Giriko slid open the pocketed door and started in, completely ignoring Michael’s question. 

As disgruntled as he was he still followed the other inside. He really didn’t want to piss the chainsaw off right now. Without Justin here to whisper sweet words and warmly pet the man into submission there was really no telling what would happen if he got too angry and snapped. There wasn’t anyone else here who knew how to stop him. Especially not Michael. He couldn’t calm anyone down to save his life. He’d only freak out and increase everyone’s panic and anger.

“Put Justin’s stuff in a biohazard bag, it’s dripping everywhere. We need something to keep it safe.” Giriko’s voice wavered on the word  _ ‘safe’  _ and Michael felt something akin to sympathy. He really didn’t know much about Giriko, but he knew the guy, as awful as he was, really loved Justin. He could only imagine the other’s state right now. How much it had to hurt knowing that your partner died while you sat useless. It was probably unbearable. Especially for someone as headstrong as Giriko. Especially because Justin had died looking out for him. 

Michael couldn’t imagine living with that kind of guilt. He was having a hard enough time just knowing he had passed on the mission to them. It must’ve felt soul crushing to know you were at a direct fault, there in the moment. He wondered what it was like to see your partner disappear into nothingness before your eyes. He wondered if they were looking at each other when it happened. Did they have last words between each other or was it so fast that they only had time for one last desperate glance? 

Going over to the cabinets he kneeled down to reach the lower most one and fiddled around for his keys. That wasn’t a productive area of thought. It was only making his chest feel all tight and pained. Giriko probably wouldn’t appreciate the extrapolation of what his pain was like either. Michael sure wouldn’t like people trying to pry into a moment of his life like that. Something so heartbreakingly intimate and crushing wasn’t meant to be seen or understood by anyone but the two so horribly in love in that moment. 

Swallowing back the sharp clinging pain he was starting to feel crawl over him Michael picked out the infirmary key between his sweaty fingers. It slotted into the cabinet lock with a satisfying crunching noise. The amount of relief he got from the sound was ridiculous. He couldn’t help it though, he always loved the sound of the tight pegs moving out of the way of the key. It was like it's own kind of annoying instrument. Like the type you got as a kid that your parents hated you for banging on over and over again. 

The cabinet opened easily and thankfully, it wasn’t very hard to find the box of biohazard bags in the mess of materials. He was able to yank it out without much fuss but as he got them all out, he realized that the bags they had were kind of small for Justin’s giant coat. It looked like it’d fit, but only if he folded it perfectly. He could feel his shoulders sag with the stress and despair that came with knowing he was going to have to mess with the bloody uniform. He didn’t want to have to look at it close enough to fold it. Looking back to Giriko he jumped out of his skin when he saw how the man was still looming over him. 

He didn’t really have much of a choice here… He was  _ not  _ going to try and refuse a pissed off Giriko. Backing up slightly Michael laid the coat out onto the floor. His stomach turned as he noticed the huge slash running right through the middle. The lasting mark of the strike that left him dead. He quickly grabbed the disgustingly sticky fabric and pinched it into the first tight fold. Moving the fabric this fast was wafting a horrible coppery smell through the room. It smelled hot and made his throat stick together with thick strands of sick bile. He could feel blood clots starting to form on the fabric, desperately trying to fix the body that was already gone. Doing their job even though there host had died. Michael’s eyes were starting to feel wet.

He shoved the bloody coat into the bag and sealed it with shaking fingers. He wanted to wash his hands. He wanted to be rid of this feeling. It was too much for him. His skin felt like it was burning. Like every part of him that had come in contact with the dead scythe’s coat was infected and dripping off him. He needed more than to wash his hands in all honesty. He needed a shower. Needed to be clean of this entire experience. He needed to get home. Needed to get out of here. 

He only just started to stand up before he was sent back to his knees with a sharp kick against the back of his head. He clanged into the metal cabinets with a bang so loud it’d make anyone flinch. His glasses were forced so far onto his face he could feel one of the lenses shatter against his eyelid. He fell back with a weird gurgling noise, his nose dripping with blood and his vision swirling. There was a bump forming on his forehead and when he went to touch it he felt the enchanter grab the back of his shirt and throw him onto one of the infirmary beds. 

Everything was moving so fast. His throat could barely process it  _ had  _ been choked against his shirt but wasn’t anymore. His vision wasn’t clearing up and his glasses had gone careening off somewhere in the struggle. The noises coming out of his mouth weren’t any kind of language. Just the confused babble of someone whose brain wasn’t working right. He had been scrambled far too much. His head was pounding and he felt his shoulders jerk weirdly for a second before he threw up on his feet. 

He hadn’t even realized he had sat up at some point. He was shocked to realize he wasn’t still on his back on the bed. When had he moved? Had the impact been enough that the bed springs just threw him right back up? His distorted vision saw Giriko move towards him and he could feel something screeching and loud inside of him panic. He needed to run. He didn’t know what was happening but he knew he had to get out of here. He stumbled onto his feet and moved weakly to the door. Giriko just held his arm out and Michael found himself weakly struggling against the unmoving appendage. 

He wasn’t in a place where he could think of anything but escape. His mind was scrambled and throbbing. There was nothing in his mind but static and fear. He was relying entirely on survival instincts that were flawed and disoriented. They weren’t able to give him the simple solution of ‘duck’. Logically speaking he could easily get around Giriko right now. He could jump over the bed. He could go under his arm. There was so much he could do right now but all he could manage was a pathetic whine and spitting up more bile. The enchanter only just barely moved his arm forward and Michael went tumbling sick and confused back onto the bed. 

Giriko was going to kill him. He needed to get out of here. He couldn’t just let this happen. Scrambling against the sheets he made a hot wet shout when Giriko’s boot came down heavy and painful against his chest. Was he crying or was his vision still just blurry? What was happening? What had he done? Why was he being attacked? He hadn’t killed Justin. This wasn’t his fault! Grabbing onto the enchanters ankle he clawed at it with stubby nails and tried to lift his foot off of him with scared white knuckles. 

“Let me go! You’re killing me!” His voice sounded wrecked and hoarse. Half of his face was twisted down with tired struggled pain while the other was sharp and awake with a heavy pulsating panic. Giriko’s foot eased up for a second but then pressed down harder. Michael could feel the air in his lungs rush out of him. He could hear it all escape with a wheeze. The enchanter really was intending to kill him. There was no misunderstanding here. No weird confusion in the air. He was being murdered. He was going to be killed. No one else was here. It was the middle of the night. Everyone else had gone home and left him to wait for Justin.

But Justin wasn’t here. Justin was dead and he was going to have his ribcage shattered under their scythe’s psychotic boyfriend’s boot. Something hot and angry flared under his skin with that. He knew the guillotine was dead but part of Michael couldn’t help but blame him for this. Wasn’t it his job to make sure Giriko wouldn’t do this shit? Wasn’t his whole thing supposed to be rehabilitating this guy? What kinda fucking job did he do of it if the second he was gone Giriko started murdering again? Justin always gushed about how his chainsaw wouldn’t hurt anyone anymore. What fucking bullshit. 

They all knew getting Justin as their Death Scythe was a double edged sword. On one hand he was young and would do whatever they asked for no questions asked. On the other he was young and would fall for dumb bullshit like this. Of fucking course the enchanter was tricking him. How had Lord Death even considered letting Justin harbor someone like this? Did he not care that this would eventually happen? He must’ve known. There was no way he had actually thought his dumb baby of a scythe could actually convert a fucking war criminal to their side with nothing but excited words. 

Michael’s teeth bared in hatred as his vision started to finally piece back together and he could see the smug, malice filled smile of the enchanter. He was leaning against his knee like the prick he was, looking down at Michael with a satisfaction that only someone as rotten and evil as him could get out of this situation. Justin was a fucking moron. He lived with this guy. Oh sorry, had lived. Wasn’t doing much of that anymore. But  _ still _ . Everyone had known Giriko was the literal scum of the earth. It was impossible not to know with how he stalked around and glared and yelled at everyone. It wasn’t even like Justin was his exception to the rule. He was just as awful to the scythe as everyone else. Probably even worse. 

When he got to heaven or hell or where the fuck ever, he was going to hunt Justin down and beat him unconcious. Make him spit up whatever stupid excuse he had for bringing someone like this into their organization. He could not believe the other was this stupid. He could not be this dumb and have managed to live as long as he had. There had to be some stupid reason for him to have been holding onto the rotting disgusting man. He wanted to know what about this bastard had been worth risking all their lives to Justin. 

Whatever it was wasn’t going to be good enough. He knew that already. He already knew that this kind of fucking neglience from their scythe was unforgivable. But he still wanted to hear why. Wanted to know for what dumb reason he had died. 

“You got a surprising amount of hatred bursting inside you.” Spitting at the chainsaw Michael grabbed onto the top of Giriko’s knee and forced his leg further down onto his chest in a dumb and desperate attempt to get his other hand closer to clawing at the enchanter’s face. Giriko chuckled lowly and grabbed his swiping hand in a painful bruising grip. He pulled it up with a sharp violent smile, taking pleasure in how Michael screamed when he felt his shoulder disjoint. 

“Y’know you’re just what’s around. Real bottom of the shelf shit.” Michael had no idea what Giriko was talking about. He didn’t care what Giriko was talking about. He actually made a broken laugh that was cut off by the foot in his chest pressing down further. Giriko was as dumb as Justin if he thought for a second that Michael gave half a shit about what this guy thought his value was. He gave a shaky pained smile at the enchanter’s annoyed expression. He’d take the satisfaction of not making this fun for the bastard. The pleasure that bubbled in his soul at Giriko’s anger was delicious. But it only lasted a second. It disappeared entirely when Giriko smiled back at him almost warmly and caressed a part of his hair.

“You got the same blonde as Justin though.” The anger that had been burning him as hot as the sun was whipped away into a freezing cold black hole. Supernova. He could feel everything crumbling around him. This wasn’t just his death anymore. This wasn’t just a murder. Suddenly the heavy pressure over his chest felt like a sharp suffocating needle of fear running him through. He couldn’t breathe. The hand in his hair felt like charred wood- it felt like it was leaving a disgusting residue all over him. It felt like it was still sharp with the surviving splinters that managed to escape their fiery demise. 

“Didn’t notice until you looked at me like that, but you’re the best I could’ve picked.” He didn’t want to be the best for whatever the fuck this was. He wanted to be as far away from here as possible. He didn’t even care if that meant being dead as shit. He just wanted away. He didn’t want to know what was coming next. Giriko’s hand moved to the leather pouch on his hip and Michael could feel himself go purple as he held his breath. 

“By the time this is over no one will even be able to tell you weren’t always Justin.” The beads of sweat rolling down his face were starting to mix with tears. He wasn’t angry anymore. He was just scared. He didn’t know what any of that meant. He didn’t want to know what that meant. He didn’t want to know what was about to happen to him. But he still got a terrifying idea when he saw Giriko pull a soft blue soul out of his bag. 

Michael didn’t need to ask who that was. There was only one person that could be. Only one person who could own a soul carved into with crosses. Only one person this monster of a human would bother to hold onto. 

Michael didn’t know much about soul possession. Of course he didn’t. It was just as forbidden as eating human souls. Maybe even more so. The only reason it wasn’t firmly written as a ‘ _ do not _ ’ anywhere was because it was so complicated that no one even knew how the fuck to do it. It was an outdated practice used by the witch Arachne when she was first starting to experiment with human weapon resonance. There was no way… There was no way this bastard knew how to do something like that. 

“Justin’s dead you creep! There’s no way you're gonna bring him back! You’re just going to destroy his soul like this!” He wasn’t going to just destroy Justin. He was going to destroy both of them if he went through with this. There souls would mesh horribly and fall apart into nothingness. They’d cease to exist and Michael’s body would just turn into an empty shell and die. That was how it always happened. There had never been a successful attempt in any of the academy’s research. Never been a recorded success anywhere. People even doubted if Arachne had really been able to pull it off. It was more of a legend than an actual thing people tried to do.

“He’s not dead. He’s right here. Don’t tell me you’ve gone blind, I need you working. I don’t want to put him in a broken body.” The way Giriko said that made it seem like he was legitimately mad at Michael for even daring to ‘stop working’. It was horrific. There was no convincing him this wouldn’t work. He was going to destroy them. Michael’s chest was heaving with heavy panic. This was worse than death. This was far worse than death. This was going to be torture followed by complete and entire destruction. 

“No one’s successfully done this before! You can’t believe you’ll be the first! You’re going to destroy him!” Michael wasn’t going to bother trying to argue for his own life here. It was obvious Giriko couldn’t care less about what would happen to him. But the fear of what he was going to do to Justin might deter him. It  _ should  _ deter him. As long as Giriko was still sane enough to realize he was going into a lost cause he should be able to stop this madness. 

The man laughed tiredly and Michael felt his heart fall to hell. There was no chance. This was already game and set. 

“No one? Is that what Lord Death has been saying?” Giriko was looking at Justin’s soul as if the question was directed at it. Maybe it was. The enchanter seemed mad enough right now that talking to a soul wouldn’t be completely unexpected behavior. Justin’s soul flickered slightly under the cage of Giriko’s fingers and Michael felt his throat swell close. He was conscious. Justin was conscious right now. That was a reaction. Proof he was still alive. Michael didn’t feel any kind of relief from that. He only felt dread. 

“I suppose it’s close though.” The enchanter’s hand closed tighter around Justin’s soul. Tight enough that it was bending under the pressure. There was a bitter horror that came over Michael when he realized that Giriko was intentionally keeping his hands clawed on top of the guillotine’s soul to make sure it couldn’t pass on. Justin was just as trapped here as he was. It was becoming obvious that neither of them had any control over whether or not this happened. 

“The real answer is no one but me. This is  _ my  _ research.” Giriko got close enough that Michael’s eyes had to painfully cross to focus on him. His heart stopped dead for a second as he processed what was just said. Well. This was probably why Lord Death had Justin taking care of him. As much as he hated all of this it suddenly made a lot more sense. All of this seemed a lot more bleak.

“I won’t fail. I’ve never failed. Justin isn’t going to die here.” There were really few ways this could’ve gone worse for him. Giriko moved so that his knee was resting heavily on Michael’s stomach, finally risking getting within arms length. Michael didn’t bother to try and attack though. His left shoulder was still popped out of its socket and he was starting to come to a numb depressed acceptance of the situation. If Giriko knew what he was doing, he knew what he was doing. There wasn’t any stopping what was going to happen, was there? 

The grim silence in the air was heavy and suffocating. Michael couldn’t do anything but watch as the enchanter did whatever the fuck he had to do to make sure he didn’t completely kill both of them. He looked far too focused. In all the time he had been following Justin around their branch Michael had never seen him look like he gave a shit about anything as much as he did now. He wished he could’ve seen the guy care this much before they went on the fucking mission. If he cared this much before now none of this would’ve had to happen. 

Bringing up his right arm to rub the sweat off his forehead he sneered at the warning look Giriko gave him. They both knew there was jackshit he could do at this point. He might as well get some of the annoying blood and sweat off his face so his last moments would be comfortable. He had only just managed to start to scrape off the crusty red blood trails around his nose when it felt it. 

He tried to fly up and run away but Giriko held him down. It felt like hellfire cramping up over his chest. His entire body was tensing up into a weird shape. He was like a dying spider that was trying to draw all it's limbs back in as it died. He was trying to bend away from the soul being forced through the front of his chest. The soul was trying to pull away too. Giriko’s hand was firm and unrelenting, he kept pushing down without a hint of mercy.

Screaming Michael’s hand flew up to punch at the back of Giriko’s head. His legs were kicking uselessly behind him, desperate to run or somehow hurt the man that was forcing the foreign mass inside of him. Justin wasn’t by any means cooperating either. Michael could feel his soul spasming and trying to escape. He could feel Justin attempting to pass on. He could feel Justin looking for escape as he was pushed further and further inside of Michael. The enchanter was unmoving. Not even blinking at how Michael’s fist came down over and over on the back of his head. He wasn’t paying attention to either of them. He was solely focused on making sure they combined. 

There was a moment of white hot pain. Worse than what they were already feeling. Worse than anything Michael had thought was possible. Justin’s soul was brushing against his. Michael’s hand slammed down from attacking. Instead it moved to clench into the sheets as he bared his teeth and breathed heavily enough that spit flew out of his mouth with every sporadic gasp. Justin was inside of him. They were occupying the same space and they didn’t fit. Michael’s body was trying to reject Justin with a fury. Justin was trying to escape desperately. They were both feeling the same pain. They were both trying to make it stop. But Giriko’s hand was still there. He wasn’t going to let it end that way.

Michael tried to attack again but his hand only came up a few centimeters before it crashed back down again. Over and over. Punching the bed with a horribly pained fury. He was sweating so much he could feel it being thrown off his skin as he struggled. He looked at Giriko’s focused expression with an inhuman fury. He was going to kill him. He was going to make him regret doing this. He was going to make him feel their pain. Growling awfully he spat up something gross and bile-like. He was nothing but an animal right now. He wanted to make Giriko suffer with him. 

He could feel his muscles ripping and being rebuilt. He could feel their souls struggle against each other as they were forced closer and closer together with the pressure. He was right. This was torture. They were being tortured. He- He was… He couldn’t think right. The lights of the infirmary were so glaring and awful that Giriko was starting to disappear behind the beams of light. His vision was fading into shapes and colors. The lights were so bright they were leaving bright blue and red circles everywhere. 

Something dark started to come over his face and he bit at it. There was something that sounded a bit like a shout of pain and he smiled wryly. His mouth tasted like copper and salt. He had gotten him. He hoped he had managed to bite deep. He hoped it’d get infected and gangrenous and fall off his fucking body. No he didn’t. He- He-

Arching his back he screamed again. His mind felt like it was made out of a mass of tangled wires that were ripping and pulling at each other. There were too many thoughts in his head, too many feelings. None of them matched up. They were colliding and bumping into each other. He could feel Justin’s thoughts start to seep into his own. He could feel his head split and reform. Split and reform. Split and reform.

Giriko’s hand pressed over their eyes. They both screamed and tried to pull away. They were panicking. They didn’t want to be together. The blindness was making it so much worse. They could see their split 4 way vision in the staticky darkness. They couldn’t tell who was who. The line where Michael stopped and Justin started was gone. It was gone and neither of them knew what to do. It was unbearable. It felt like their- no,  _ Michael’s  _ brain was turning into mush and falling out their- no,  _ Michael’s  _ ears. This body was Michael. This body was Michael, but this soul wasn’t just his anymore. 

“Justin take your place. The longer you wait the more he’ll suffer. His soul won’t be able to keep up with yours for long.” There was a weird painful cracking within them. Giriko’s lips were smiling thinly against Michael’s ear. It was making a weird divide in their mind. They still couldn’t tell who was who but they could guess that their panic was Michael and their desperation was Justin. They had been moving as a scared and pained unit before now. They had been feeling and thinking the same things in their blind fear. They weren’t anymore. They were pulling against each other again. They couldn’t find an equal ground. They couldn’t figure out how to work with each other. And Giriko’s heavy presence wasn’t helping. 

He was what was making this fucking  _ impossible  _ actually. Michael was screaming in panic being touched by the enchanter while Justin was desperate for the comfort. It was creating a horrible imbalance of what to do. They couldn’t agree with each other. To make it worse it wasn’t even something either of them could help. They couldn’t even get mad at each other over it because they fucking knew Justin couldn’t suddenly start being afraid of Giriko just like Michael couldn’t suddenly stop being afraid. It was an emotional difference they couldn’t do anything about and it was making everything inside them spiral out of control. 

Gripping at the hand over their face they tried to pull it away. They wanted the hand off their eyes. Small steps. Small agreements. Giriko let them move his hand easily enough and instead ran it through their-  _ Michael’s  _ hair. A horrible sickness mixed with a warm affection and they bent in an exhausted pain. They were breathing so heavily it hurt. They were falling apart at the seams. It was too much. They wanted it to end already. Justin opened their eyes tiredly. Desperate to see the comforting presence of his boyfriend.

“You finally waking up for me, little scythe?” Michael forced their-  _ his  _ eyes closed again and looked away. Something vile and filled with hatred bubbled in his heart when he heard Giriko huff with an annoyed ‘ _ apparently not. _ ’ He wasn’t going to let them win here. He wasn’t going to die. This was his body. He wasn’t going to give it to Justin. He… He wasn’t going to let himself be absorbed into the other’s soul. 

Weakly he wrapped his hand around the hand that was still protectively over his chest and tried to pull it away. He wasn’t going to die here. He was going to get Justin out of him. Giriko didn’t move his hand this time. Michael opened his eyes and noticed with fear that Giriko’s expression was far sharper then it had been when they last opened his eyes. He pulled at the enchanter’s wrist more desperately. If he couldn’t get Giriko to listen to him there’d be no way for him to get Justin out of him. Why wasn’t he listening anymore? How could he tell he wasn’t Justin? 

The dread taking over Michael was indescribable. This was hopeless wasn’t it? He didn’t want to willingly hand over control and die here but what other option did he have? Suffering endlessly tied to Justin? Clenching his hand around Giriko’s wrist he tried to dig his puny nails into him. He was trying to hurt him even though he knew he couldn’t. He couldn’t even tighten his grasp enough to make it hurt. Justin wasn’t letting him. Biting his lip he pushed the scythe as far down as he could manage and used both his arms to rip at Giriko’s hand. 

It hurt. It hurt so bad. His dislocated shoulder was screaming and Giriko just pushed back harder. It felt like he was being crushed. Giriko used his other hand to grab Michael’s face between bruising fingers. There was a moment of horrible bloodthirsty eye contact. Michael yanked at the hand on his chest again and Giriko shaked his face like he was reprimanding a fucking dog. Neither of them could actually hurt each other with Justin between them but they both wanted to more than anything. 

“Giriko it hurts.” Both of them froze in complete shock. Michael hadn’t said that. It was his voice but those weren’t his words. It was his body but the tears that were starting to streak down his face weren’t his.

Giriko glanced down confused, checking to make sure Justin’s soul hadn’t started slipping out. The glare he gave Michael was filled with so much hatred that he wasn’t surprised that the part of him that was Justin flinched back. He wanted to laugh dryly about how he was scaring and hurting the person he was doing all this shit for but he couldn’t. Not when the enchanter released his bruising grip on Michael’s jaw and moved to wipe away Justin’s tears. He couldn’t do anything as he felt the man’s fingers flick the moisture away from under his eyes. 

This wasn’t his body anymore was it? Justin was starting to control it. He was crying and speaking and… He was using him. He was using Michael’s body as his own. Michael was losing. He was losing control. Losing his body. Losing his life. 

Giriko was right. Michael couldn’t keep up with Justin. He couldn’t hold his own against a Death Scythe. This was already over. There souls were so intertwined that there wasn’t any way for them to separate anymore. One of them was going to have to give in and be consumed. And it wasn’t going to be Justin. It probably wasn’t even possible for it to be Justin. There was no way Michael’s weak tiny soul could absorb Justin’s unbearably powerful one. This was over. It had been over since the second he followed Giriko in here like an idiot. 

“Wake up Justin. It’s going to be ok.” Giriko wasn’t talking to him. He was looking at him but he wasn’t talking to him. He was already ignoring Michael. Acting as if he was already gone. He was holding him as if he was Justin. Which he supposed was only fair, he would be any second now. The enchanter’s hand was feather light on his face, comforting the soul that would inevitably eat his own. Tears were streaking down his face. He couldn’t tell if they were his own or Justin’s anymore.

“Wake up for me.” The voice that was heating the shell of his ear was shaking ever so slightly. The lips just barely against his jaw were ever so slightly wet. Giriko’s hands were far too soft for how violent he was. He was being far too gentle after everything that happened. He was coaxing the scythe out in such a warm way Michael didn’t know what to do. His eyes pinched closed and he swallowed back the horrible burning bile that was climbing up his throat. 

His heart was beating too fast. His chest was heaving with every pained breath. His ears were tingling and itching with the infirmary's crushing silence. Everything was smeared and painful. Nothing was making sense. He felt sick. His body felt so heavy and sore. His shoulder was throbbing. It felt hot and sensitive all disjointed and bent like it was. Curling his toes he bent his back into a sharp arch and made an uncomfortable pained noise. Biting onto one of the fingers on his right hand he moaned in pain. 

“What happened to me?” Justin’s voice was tired and small. Confused and scared. Giriko laughed with an annoyed disbelief and picked the scythe’s tired body off of the bed. Justin’s head felt so heavy and he groaned horribly before finally letting his eyes crack open. Giriko looked so blurry. Like a mass of earthy colors that were only just barely making up the shape of a human. It was disorienting and weird and Justin squeezed his eyes back closed and shook his head in a jerky but firm ‘no’.

He didn’t like this. He felt uncomfortable and weird. He was limp and exhausted. In a weird throbbing pain that was making it hard to focus on anything properly. His body felt foriegn and wrong and everything ached so badly. He wanted Giriko to put him back down. It was starting to hurt being held up like this. It was starting to make something close to panic bubble confusingly inside him.

When the enchanter moved him to sit on his lap and let his head lull onto his shoulder Justin huffed weakly. He didn’t understand what was happening but the comfort of Giriko’s arms around him was well worth the pain of being held while he was at a dead weight. Nuzzling into the crook of Giriko’s shoulder lazily Justin basked in the familiar scent. He felt safe. The weird pulsating fear from his dream, the one that had been wrapped so tightly around him as he had first started to wake up was gone. The panic that had been tickling at his heart completely disappeared. It was replaced with a warm affection that made him lean further into the enchanter’s grasp.

“That took you long enough you little brat.” Justin could feel Giriko’s lips move against his forehead with each word. He sounded angry but the scythe could hear the overwhelming relief that was hidden behind it. He smiled tiredly and hummed. He didn’t know why Giriko was being so affectionate right now but he couldn’t be bothered to think about it. He was happy being held like this. It was nice enough that he could ignore the throbbing pain that was making it so hard for him to breathe. Well. It was until Giriko shifted. 

The other’s small movement jostled his arm and made him arch with a sharp hiss. He had absolutely no idea of what he could’ve done to mess up his shoulder so badly but it was obvious he had done something. He made a warbling whining noise and Giriko touched his bruised and twisted joint gingerly. 

“Shit. It’s completely out of it's socket. Hold still.” There was a moment of complete clustering confusion and his mouth opened to ask what he had to hold still for. All that came out was a strangled and pained noise as the enchanter roughly forced the bone back in place. Justin’s vision started to crackle and clear up with the sheer pain of it. Like a splash of frigid water it completely forced him out of his sleepy warm state. Jumping up he grabbed onto his arm protectively and looked up at Giriko with an incredulous expression, silently demanding him to never do anything like that ever again. The enchanter only snorted in response. 

“What the hell? Why-” Justin’s voice stopped. He sounded weird. His voice wasn’t usually this tone. He didn’t usually sound this way. Looking down in confusion a quiet cold horror crept over him. This wasn’t his body. He… What? What had happened? Looking up to Giriko with terrified eyes he only felt his fear grow heavier and stickier when the enchanter stared at him with a bored impatience. He looked tired and annoyed by Justin’s reaction, but it also looked like he had been expecting it. 

“It feels weird, doesn’t it?” Justin didn’t miss how the protective hand around his shoulder clutched his bruised skin harder. How the arm that had been under his legs came up to pin them down. The way Giriko did it was subtle. It was barely noticeable past the out of place joke about things feeling off. But Justin knew him too well. He knew Giriko was trapping him here. Making sure he couldn’t leave without a fight. He had done something. Something verging on unforgivable. He was the reason Justin was like this. He had done something while Justin was asleep.

_ Asleep _ . 

That word hit him like lighting. He hadn’t been asleep. He had died hadn’t he? 

Justin’s breath caught in his throat. He had died. He was supposed to be dead right now. He had fucked up. He had been tricked. Looked away from his target like a fucking idiot. Let fear climb into his soul and spun around to look for Giriko with a desperation that wasn’t even needed. He had been sliced in half with a wet hot blast. His organs didn’t even have a chance to hit the floor before his body started to break into whirling black ribbons. He had screamed a pointless warning. He had seen Giriko’s fearful shock. He had seen something break apart and die in Giriko’s eyes. 

And then it had been over.

It was supposed to be over. 

Justin breaths felt jagged and uneven as he looked down at ‘his’ body again. This wasn’t him. He… he was in someone else. Giriko had put his soul in someone else. The horrible hot blinding pain that had been ripping at his mind and making him feel like he was in hell wasn’t a nightmare. Giriko wasn’t waking him up from a bad dream. He had been… He had… 

Giriko’s hand came around his chin and forced Justin to look back into his eyes. 

“I wasn’t going to sit useless and let you die.” The eye contact between them was acidic. Justin’s skin felt like it was burning. It was tingling with pin pricks. Each one reminding him this was borrowed flesh. Each throb of pain made his stomach twist and turn. He didn’t remember what he did to make everything hurt so bad because he hadn’t done anything. Giriko had. He had beaten whoever this was up. Forced them to move over for Justin. These hot sore wounds were the only remaining proof of their struggle. 

Giriko’s hand was gentle under his chin. Even the arm that was tightly holding him in place was relatively gentle. He was being so careful with Justin. But he had just killed someone. No… he didn’t kill anyone. Justin’s throat knotted up and his voice wheezed out, he didn’t want to say it. He didn’t want to confirm what had just happened. 

“You had me kill someone.” Justin’s vision was spinning. His hands had knotted up in prayer at some point. Asking for forgiveness for a crime he still couldn’t process right. It… It just sounded wrong. He couldn’t of done that. There was no way. This had to be a dream. This had to be hell fooling him. He was still dead. He had to be dead. There was no way he had actually possessed someone like this. He would never do something this- this- tears were building up in his eyes. 

He could feel Giriko sigh in exasperation. Exhausted with the mental breakdown Justin was having because of him. They shifted weirdly for a second and Justin had to grab onto the front of Giriko’s shirt to not be dropped. He could tell from the movements that the chainsaw was digging something out of his pocket. Justin didn’t even bother to wonder what it was. He was still trying to catch up with the realization he had. Still reliving the ‘dream’ he had with wide horrified eyes. 

Justin’s hands were grasping at Giriko’s shirt and twitching in weird erratic patterns. His breaths were coming out so heavy that his entire body was falling and rising with each one. It was obvious that he was barely holding himself together. He didn’t know what to do. There was no undoing what he had done. He had completely drowned that man. He hadn’t known that was what was happening. He had just followed Giriko’s voice because he didn’t know what else to do. He had assumed the weird voice he was fighting with was his own paranoia. He had thought he was the only one there. He thought it was a nightmare. He thought it was his own illness making everything hurt. That’s why he had tried so hard to squish it down. 

Hiccuping Justin felt something sad and wet pop in his throat. The sorrow coming over him was crushing and he could only stare up at the enchanter blankly when his hands moved to clasp something cold and heavy around his neck. Justin sniffed tiredly and rubbed his eyes. Whatever it was felt weird on his shoulders. He could hear Giriko making some kind of excuse about it, but he wasn’t really listening. His mind felt too numb and pained to properly focus on anything. Or at least it had. 

When he looked sluggishly down at what was now hanging around his neck he felt his heart stop. He hadn’t even noticed it was gone until now. But Giriko had. Giriko had remembered Justin’s cross through all of this. He had found it in all the wreckage of that fight. He knew how much it meant to Justin and had spent the time digging through the bloody aftermath for it. Justin’s hand closed around the cold metal in amazement and held it against his heart. 

Giriko’s face was red. He was shrinking under Justin’s sparkling warm gaze. Embarrassed by his display of affection. Justin felt his heart swell. Giriko was adorable. Always scared to show how sweet he could be. Scared to show how invested he was. Scared to show how much he was thinking about Justin. Something inside Justin told him to stop himself but it was tossed aside before he could even figure out why it wanted him to stop. 

His fingers held Giriko’s warm stubbly face with buzzing excited gentleness. He met their lips with a twitching smile that he couldn’t control. He loved Giriko so much he never knew what to do. He could feel his vision tunnel. The world around them disappeared and Justin forgot what he was even doing here. Giriko didn’t seem to mind his romantic delirium though. He pulled Justin tighter against himself and met the kiss back violently. 

“Next time worry about yourself you fucking brat.” Justin only barely could process what Giriko was talking about. He wasn’t in a place where he could clearly remember the gruesome moment that led them here. He was far too busy being hypnotised by the glinting copper red of his blood on Giriko’s lips. He hadn’t even noticed Giriko bite him, but he wanted him to do it again. He wanted to be torn apart. He wanted this get this buzzing out from under his skin. He  _ needed  _ to. His breaths were coming out hot and fast and Giriko gave him a entertained look. It was obvious that he had picked up on just what type of insanity was pulsing under Justin’s skin. 

“New body and you’re still just as sick huh?” Justin knew he was being insulted but he didn’t care. His arms slung around Giriko’s neck and he smiled thinly, completely drunk on mania. He felt like he was dying. The warm affection running red hot through his veins was making him sweat. He was so happy having Giriko’s eyes on him like this. His- or rather, whoever’s body this was, couldn’t keep up with his bursting heart. He kept forgetting to breathe. Kept forgetting to blink. He wondered just how much of a wreck he looked like right now. He wondered what he looked like at all in this body.

“Do I look different?” It was a reasonable question but his voice was quivering. Edged with his shaking psyche. Making it even more obvious how delusional he was right now. His face was so hot it felt like it was burning him. It only got worse when Giriko started to consider his question and looked at him even closer. He really must’ve been trying to kill himself with that question because feeling the enchanter’s focus on him like that made his vision blink out entirely. He wasn’t even feeling any kind of comprehensible emotion anymore. It was just straight adrenaline. 

“Barely. His features will burn away soon enough though.” Something shot through Justin’s chest with that and grit his teeth together painfully. This delirium was killing him. He had to pull himself out of it. His hands were clawing possessively into Giriko’s back but he managed to pull one of them off the enchanter and smack himself in the face. He could hear Giriko make a noise of shock but he ignored it. He kept his hand over his eyes and let out a few shaky gasps. He supposed it made sense that new body meant body without medicine but this was unbearable. 

Why was Giriko only affectionate like this when it would kill him? This was killing him. He could feel his heart trying to collapse into itself. Pulling his hand off his face tiredly he could see Giriko looking down at him in a mixture of concern and amusement. His heart leapt back into his throat. It was like he could see hearts. He couldn’t help himself. He was completely fucked. The remains of his sanity desperately pushed his next words out of his lips.

“That’s horrible Giriko.” Justin could only manage to whisper it. Not like it mattered how loud he said it. It wasn’t like he was actually talking to Giriko there. He knew the enchanter couldn’t care less if it was horrible or not. He had gotten what he wanted. Justin had a body again. It was obvious that nothing else mattered to him here. There was nothing Justin could say that would make him regret this. But that wasn’t what the scythe was trying to do with those words anyway. 

No, he was trying to remind himself that this was horrible. That the man in front of him had done something horrible and that he couldn’t let him get away with it. He couldn’t let Giriko distract him with a remembered cross and a warm kiss. He had a job here. He had to- He had to remember how awful all of this was. He had to piece back together his sanity and get this situation under control. He-

Giriko’s lips came down gently over his own and Justin felt his brain completely fry. There was a second of true unadulterated rage inside him. He knew what Giriko was doing and by  _ god  _ was he going to make him regret it once this was over. But right now they both knew there was nothing Justin could do but short circuit. His mind burst into warm static and when they separated Justin gasped in a way that showed just how lost he was in his delusion. Giriko’s smile was sharp and smug, taking far too much pleasure in how he had managed to completely disrail Justin’s attempt to get a hold of himself. 

“Doesn’t seem like you find it that horrible yourself little scythe.” Giriko was taunting him. He could tell. But he was buzzing with far too much excitement to understand exactly what that meant. He was far too lost in his own love to care about anything other than getting the chainsaw to kiss him again. The way Giriko smiled at him as he clutched onto his shirt and desperately tugged made it obvious that he knew that was all Justin cared about. It was scary how thankful he was when Giriko indulged him and met their lips in a bruising kiss. 

He wanted to die like this. Suffocate in this kiss. Be ripped apart by Giriko’s chains. He was so overwhelmed he felt like he was going to die but he still loved every second of it. There wasn’t even a hint of any emotion other than love inside him right now. He was so blisteringly consumed by it. 

Giriko pulled back to breathe and Justin found his vision was spotting. He really was going to pass out. He was going to pass out he was so happy. His body was shutting down. Unable to keep up with the outrageous emotional output his mind was creating. He wasn’t scared or upset though. His mouth was still quirked into a sharp smile and he was buzzing with pleasure. The enchanter only laughed and shook his head in disbelief. Undoubtedly at a loss seeing how happy Justin was even on the verge of passing out. 

“You’re insane.” He was. But so was Giriko. The only reason they were both here in this situation right now was because they were insane. Because they loved each other far far too much. More than enough to excuse each other’s insanity. More than enough to justify the countless bad decisions they were making. 

More than enough to completely forget about everything but each other. 

**Author's Note:**

> Uh so... I've written Justin 'winning' against Giriko in arguments so many times that I'd figure I'd do the inverse because he's got to be coming out on top sometimes,, but I still kinda failed making him 'win'. I mean I want to give him a more proper victory then just messing with Justin's mania. I will try to give him that victory some other time u-u 
> 
> Anyway! If you made it to the end of this very long, very weird fic I love you so much and I'd love to hear what you think ;v;)/


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